Before you start this take a second and smoke a bowl and spark a blunt while you blast some EMATiON bangers. I blame ONLY MYSELF FOR MY MISTAKES... but want you to understand things from my point-of-view.
My story will be something special, the hardest point is going to be picking a starting point. I seriously thought about it today and realized I've always been super smart and tons of trouble at the same time! One of my earliest memories is when I burnt my house down by lighting the garbage in my Mom's room.... I was 4 when that happened and the older I got the worse things became...
I started writing poems around 9 years old... the was the foundation for my "rapping". The therapist at my anger management classes thought that it would be a good idea to express myself. To make it more interesting I would try and turn them into songs and sing while I listened to music on MTV. Originally it was actually Michael Jackson that I would try to emulate. Then one day, I heard something they called "rap" I liked the fact that hip-hop had my rhythm, more words, and everything was much more fast paced.
By the time I turned 12, I was already stealing clothes, cds, shoes, and anything I saw, wanted, or had a desire to obtain. I was skipping school, started another fire (burnt down a wheat field this time), used stolen credit cards to shop online (by making a fake eBay page people would have to re-enter their information on), and that's not even the start of my troubles. I ended up going to jail for 30 days as a juvenile. During my month in custody I didn't get a single visit from any of my family... it really fucked with me at the time.
My problems only continued to evolve as I grew older and convinced that I knew everything.
Today my two biggest struggles have been sobriety and stability. If you listen to any of my songs you know that I've never kept this a secret...The whole meaning behind "The Blunt Raps" is making real-(BLUNT) music-(RAPS).
I know a lot of my songs have various drug references, especially with opiates and powerful stimulants. I'm not going to give any specific names... but I will say that some people smoke it, some people snort it, and some even sacrifice their own skin with scars. You've probably heard it called "bangin", "fixin", "jammin junk" or a "hot shot" (which is death by a syringe)I think sometimes we use slang to describe things in a ways that make them seem more acceptable. I wish I would of just smoked some weed and stopped there. I was a straight-A student in school, I was solid in sports, I was very social and spending every second I had left over teaching myself to mix and master songs and improve my sound quality. I wasn't the "stereo-typical" scumbag slammin' shit when I started. It wasn't till I got super wasted one night with a girl I thought was super sexy that I snorted my first line of cocaine. I decided it would be beneficial to experiment with every type of drug at-least once which I admit was an extremely stupid idea.
If you want to risk ruining your life beyond the point of repair then I would recommend doing the same shit.
In the beginning my benzoylmethylecgonine use started out pretty seldom and wasn't anything I ever spent money to obtain. It wasn't until I had moved to San Diego a little bit after I had turned 18 that things all changed...In the beginning everything was beautiful! I worked at the Denny's off of Bernardo Center, I had a great glass bong that I hid behind my dresser from my Grandma, and I lived without a worry in the world...
The only thing that bugged me was that I didn't have any real friends and it was always a struggle trying to find weed.I would search and search and spend hours sometimes trying to find someone I could smoke out after they delivered the danks. During my first few months in SD, I was barely blazing, stacking lots of $, always rapping, but I was depressed from being alone with no social life.
A few months later everything had changed and I had some "real" friends that were a lot of fun to party with until a tragedy transformed my life in an unforeseen way...
My friend Charles passed away in a crazy car accident and to help me heal I wrote a song about the experience and everything on my mind and sent it thru Myspace to people I thought might actually listen ... It's called "Why Do We Die Young". I never would of imagine that I would meet someone through a message I had sent that would completely change my life. Her name is somewhere in the history books these days. At the time we met she was 20 (two years and 3 days older then me) and probably the most beautiful person I had ever seen. She would talk to me for hours about her family she loved, how'd she'd never done drugs; her best-friend Jenny that had passed because a drug overdose and so many other things. She instantly became my best friend and was the only person I've ever broke down all my barriers for her to burn later.
Truthfully, she made me think trash could truly turn to treasure, that rapping wouldn't ruin me, that cash is just gratuity, and didn't think she was serious when she said she would be screwing me. (I might use that for a song haha)It takes a minute to like someone, an hour to love someone, but a lifetime to forget someone. Being rejected by a person you loved can lead to something called “frustration attraction,” which causes you to want them even more!
To this day, she still refuses to talk to me or give any acknowledgement that I even exist. I think that losing my best friend is what really broke my heart, but in retrospect I think it was beneficial to who I've become today and made me a better person.
But... back then I didn't see things like i do now. Truthfully, my depression drove me to drugs. The drugs led to me stealing from family, self-mutilation (slitting my wrists), multiple jail sentences, skipping out on my probation, starving and a sickly-skinny appearance, stranded and sleeping in shelters, scrapping copper from abandon houses, and many nights of sadness. I am so thankful that I overcame that situation. I still struggle with many different challenges but things have definitely changed.
There's no secret to quick success, especially when you start over-and-over repeatedly in many different places. Since 2007, I've stayed in Oregon, Ohio, and California primarily...but don't forget about Arizona, Texas, Idaho, Florida, New York, Nevada, Oklahoma, and now Washington too. I look at it like this... one day I plan on touring the entire world so why not get a head-start in the states?The Blunt Raps tells this story through my songs...This is going to be the most straight-foward, silly, sad, serious, smoke-a-blunt and turn your sound up type shit I've ever recorded. Someday soon this struggling is going to turn into a success story, and then I'm going to surprise the world with tons of scandalous behavior and probably die at 27 as a rockstar... It sounds superficial, but I'm absolutely serious with everything that I say.
Long story short. I surrounded myself with shit I shouldn't have and tons of shady people. I slipped into the shadows and finally I screwed it up to the point where shit hit the fan. I should be dead from my dangerous decisions instead I am stronger then ever and see things differently these days. I have no regrets but will say I should of been straight up and honest about the circumstances I carelessly created for myself. Someone iLL spent the money to save my ass when really he shouldn't have... I am forever thankful I am still here and spittin'
Much love,
-Eddy
